sillylibster
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Name: lib


Interests: boys?! & taking pics
Expertise: finding funny words in the dictionary, de-clumping sugar, making little kids cry


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AIM: e j i l 1 0 8 9


Member Since: 3/17/2005

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Grace Faith Church - Chinatown, NYC
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158 grads of `o3
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[ * ~ ! + T + E + C + B + C + ! ~ * ]
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Life 2004 The Journey
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GFC and WCAC Summer 2005
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Sunday, November 08, 2009

love.

i'd like to think i've been learning more about God's love this year. & sometimes realizing how unconditional it really is, it melts my heart. but at the same time, learning more about how perfect His love is, makes me all the more disappointed in our worldly definition of love. our watered down version & how the context that i use 'love' in is definitely not in accordance to God's love.

i crave love. REAL love. but i've been wondering if real love, God love, even exists in this world.

i hate how the way people search for love & the things in which people try to find love influence me. & how i end up wanting what other people have, shifting my focus and my priorities away from the only real love i've ever known. & then i realize how distracting i must be to other people.

sometimes people make it SO hard for me to love them. & then i realize that i probably make it equally as hard for people to love me. & then God shows up & he loves you & me equally & it's just like...what? how is that even possible? but somehow it is & that just blows my mind.

i'm trying to challenge myself to not use the word 'love' so much anymore. i love my uggs, and i love my sweatpants, and i love this, and i love that, but i don't think i love anything enough to send off my son to die on a cross for it. i challenge you (if anyone reads this) to do the same. it's going to be hard.

can you love someone without knowing their pain? i think we can make the choice to love them but we can't show our love without knowing how, & knowing how comes from knowing the person, which includes their pain. & and i think that showing love is more important; i guess over the years i've become a huge advocate to 'actions speak louder than words' & how anyone can say 'i love you' but actions that prove love is worth so much more. & i guess i've been realizing how much i hate it when people say they love me, because i doubt it. either that or because i'm still carrying around all this emotional baggage from people who said they loved me and were using it out of context. yeah, that might be it.

i want a pain growing love. or maybe i'm in the 'pain' part now & the love growing part is yet to come. why am i so impatient? why do i need to know everything?

i'm so complicated. & i'm so sorry for that.


Saturday, March 22, 2008

tonight i was reminded that
You don't give me anything more than i can handle
because You bear my burdens
and anything that is in Your control
can never be out of control
with all the weight of my problems
on Your shoulders
there's not a doubt in the world that reconciliation can be made
and i know that You will bring healing
to those who trust in You
not by my time, but by Yours
and until then,
i'll just have to be patient,
trust a little more,
and love a lot more.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

favorite verse. ever.

the righteous cry out, and the lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
the lord is close to the brokenhearted,
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

psalm 34:17-18


Tuesday, January 23, 2007


for blue skies,

i'll forgive you.


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
nothing i can do about it, nothing i can say
to bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard
looking back it all just seems so far, so far away



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